I look back to my earlier posts after I first arrived in this place a month ago. In awe at the war machines and the horrific tragedies these men have endured, and the eminent risk of the demise of my patients and myself following several recent rocket attacks, and the delivery the Lord has made in my life.. I clung to God in my writings, knowing that he had a plan, and closely walked with him... praising him daily and delved into the word for answers. Then something happened.
I have grown quite comfortable with my surroundings.
There hasn't been a mortar or rocket attack for weeks. Several thousand soldiers have moved out of our area, and a new group of several thousand infantry soldiers, having just arrived are settling into their new work buildings and trailer living areas, and have yet to feel the stressful effects of battle and separation from family... so for many hours of the day the combat stress clinic is empty. Halliburton's KBR continues to serve divine cuisine at the contracted $25 a plate gladly paid for by the Department of Defense. We like to say, "I'm worth it". 5 buffet lines to be exact.. if it was your fare you could select from Alaskan Crab, shrimp cocktail, fish, Eggplant Parmesan, every vegetable imaginable, eggrolls, crepes, build your own omelet, or perhaps some Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream? Your portions are huge, and if you so choose you can take 3 to to-go plates with you and two drinks with each to-go plate! There are Christians at my clinic, and as if together, they too have slowly moved from a reverant awe and praiseful appreciation to a very comfortable, fat, happy, selfish place. Bank accounts are healthfully growing, as are safety, tummies, and friendships. These are all good things, or are they? Prayer and Bible study moved to daily conversations with God as I walked to work and looked heavenword, to the last two days, when I realized with a startle I hadn't spoke with God much at all. It happened with a startling realization.
I return from the latrine, walking on the large, loose, stones which form walkways around our trailers. I have become quite use to them as if all walkways around dwellings should be made of large loose stones that you must slosh through as if deep northern snow, as if all dwellings should be 10 by 15 foot trailers with two beds, each with a metal wall locker. Quite comfortably normal really, when it's the habit of your life.
I am blinded by a light above almost before I hear the thundering sounds resonating through the sky. Two blackhawks not more than 50 feet up, with floodlights pointed directly to the ground roar overhead and scare me literally half to death. They are en route to a mission... and in the distance towards the city of Baghdad I cast my eyes expectantly at what I know will come next... flares. Ground troops signal in their red and blue flares their position. As chu-chu-chu-chu of the blades fades quickly towards the enemy my eyes stay fixed on the sky. There is literally a halo around the moon.
In Exodus 14 the children walk across the bottom of the Red Sea as the water towers on either side of them, held back by the hand of God. They then watch their former captors and slaveowners of the Egyptians Perish in that same sea as the waters are dropped by the hand of God.
Exodus 15:
1 Then Moses and the Israelites sang this song to the LORD : "I will sing to the LORD, for he is highly exalted. The horse and its rider he has hurled into the sea.
2 The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.
"The Lord is my strength".. they cry. I distinctly remember shouting those words, too, one month ago when I arrived to this new middle east land too, immediately clinging to the Lord.
How quickly the Isrealites wander. How quickly I did wander. How quickly we all seem to step away from the ever powerful presence of our God, and suddenly we're not clinging to God as much anymore we begin clinging...................to ourselves. It took me only 3 weeks. Maybe due to the Israelites having seen a couple hundred thousand gallons of water suspended in mid-air, it took them 6, but nonetheless they do it.
Exodus 16:
1 The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt. 2 In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. 3 The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death."
They had seen the wonders of God unleashed in that place they were slaves.. their firstborn had been saved at the Passover by the blood of the lamb from certain death, and they and their families once again delivered through the water... but now they have set aside God's promises, his glory, and goodness and wish now they would've died there because they don't have any food. Surely a God who is faithful to move the elements of the Universe in their favor can send over some food should they reach up to him in faith! But so quickly we forget the powerful hand of God and what dark valleys of our lives he has helped us through only to lead us to a glorious mountain top on the other side.
What happens next to the Isrealites is what I suddenly realize has just happened to me. Though I wandered from his side... the Lord quickly filled me.. connected with me... met my needs and sends me a glorious sign of his Love... a halo around a moon and a still small voice.
The Lord goes above and beyond for the Israelites too.... he rains down tasty Quail meat at night... and honey wafer tasting Manna to cover the ground in the morning!
God wants us by his side every step of the way. And just when we think we want to step out on our own and complain or take things into our own hands without involving him as our best friend and guide...... all we must do is, like the Israelites, remember our chains, where we came from (in slavery), and know that it is because of God that we have come to the place of freedom, hope, and joy that we can live in now with him.
The final warning to us in the last book of Revelation is clear....
We must listen closely... for he is talking to US.
Revelation 3: 14-22
"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
It's time to start getting into a little uncomfortable Christianity. To cling to Christ when we want to cling to ourselves... to walk at his pace when we want to run blindly at ours, grumble against him... when we should be humbly and faithfully coming before him.
And suddenly... we're embraced by his Loving arms.
